I miss my mom

i am currently two weeks into college, and i feel a lot of things: stress, happiness, excitement, joy, but mostly, i just miss my mom. i call her and she calls me at least ten times a day, and i spill every single detail to her, but its not the same as being in her presence. many people who know me know that i have the best mom in the entire world, and she also happens to be my best friend. we tell each other absolutely everything. she's the first person i talk to when i have something exciting to tell, and the first to know when something is upsetting me. she texts me every single morning "good morning i love you" and every single night "goodnight i love you." i'm just so blessed to have someone in my life that loves me this deeply, and cares for me so much. she really is just my favorite person to ever exist, and the fact that i have to live five hours away from her, and see her only once a month, absolutely breaks my heart into a million pieces everyday. talking to her on the phone isn't the same as getting to hug her everyday i get home from school, or eat breakfast with her every morning, or pray with her every night before i go to bed. there are certain things that are stressing me out and making me worry each and everyday, like work and school, but not getting to see someone that i love with every ounce of my entire being is something that will never sit well with me. i truly took for granted all the times i got to to sit and talk with her, or go on runs with her, or have her as a part of all of my days. i love my life, but growing up is terribly difficult. i have the most wonderful friends, i'm lucky enough to get to live with my sister, and i'm doing great things with my life, but it feels like a whole part of me is missing. i was talking to my professor after class today, who i've had as a professor before, and she was talking about how much she missed her daughter, and i was talking about how much i missed my mom. i just think the love between a mother and daughter is something so incredibly powerful. there's nothing else quite like it in this world.
today my mom said "we just miss each other and we will always feel like there is something missing" and i just couldn't have explained it better. life is so short, and i hate not getting to see my mom every single day. anyways, i am glad i love someone so much that i can miss a person in this way, but it doesn't make it any easier. i'm looking forward to the next time i get to see my mom. that is all.
i
 love
     you,
           mother

is this how you blog?

the other day someone asked me a simple question: who are you? and though this may seem simple, it meant something; this question had substance. and as I pondered and scoured my many wavelengths of identity, the answer became simple. i am a lot of things. i'm who i love, i'm where i came from, i'm who i want to be, i'm my favorite songs and books and poems, and i am exactly who i want to be. i think realizing who you are is greatly learning how to love who you are. i think i'm at a point in my life when i truly, deeply love the person i am, and the person i'm becoming. this blog has been a long time coming, and it isn't anything special, but i decided i had too many thoughts not to write them down. i'm a dirt poor college student that prioritizes living life to the fullest every chance i get. it's the summer before my sophomore year, and i am more myself than i ever have been my entire life. i have found people who love and accept me, i have experienced more this past year than i ever thought possible: love, heartbreak, homesickness, and most of all, complete and utter joy. writing has always been what i turn to, in the light and in the dark, to express everything that i cannot explain without words. i hope to document my life in this next year, and so on, and hopefully others can share some of these experiences, and maybe even relate. i hope this blog brings a little bit of joy.