it is currently 11:39 on a Wednesday night, and my mind is exploding with thoughts. i had to write them down, because i feared that i would wake up in the morning and forget. we were assigned a reading in my American literature class, "Nature" by Ralph Waldo Emerson; the man, the myth, the legend. this writer is one of my greatest inspirations; his writing has evoked some of my most critical thoughts, and made me self analyze everything that i am. how does this reading assignment relate to religion? let me explain. emerson believes that we are a part of a whole, of something greater than us, and that we are a piece of god; he believes we are closest to god when we are in the presence and in touch with nature. i have always respected, and even listened attentively to others' beliefs when it comes to religion. i am fascinated by the different religions that exist. i have challenged my beliefs more in the past year than i ever have in my life. i've taken philosophy courses that made me ask the question, "does god exist?" i grew up in a christian family; we went to church nearly every Sunday. i never felt as if my faith was really my own; i believed in god, but mostly because my parents believed in god. i wanted to test this faith, to study, and to figure out what i believed for myself personally. growing up, i would get anxiety about going to church, about going to this place of worship. i could never grasp why we gathered in a place with other people to practice something that was so deeply personal. we were in a church supposedly worshiping god, but everyone was truly worshiping each other. often times, many things are exercised in life simply for reputation or maintaining an image. i could feel judgmental eyes crawling down the back of my neck, watching me closely, as i sat and listened to someone speak about god. church wasn't really about god. organized religion is not for god, but for the people. if you want to get closer to god, go into nature (like emerson said); self examine, test your beliefs and faith, challenge your ideas and notions, ponder your deepest thoughts, take time alone to reflect, study different philosophies and religious beliefs, understand yourself before you try to understand others, be patient, be your biggest critic, but be kind to yourself. spirituality exists in one way or another, within all of us. religion determines how we practice this faith, but it is organized entirely by society. transcendentalism is something that i have grown fond of during college, and a term that i continue to revisit, especially in my literature classes. this idea stresses that independence and self reliance are crucial to spiritual growth. if you are one with yourself, if you are one with nature, and connected to the rest of existence, then you will find yourself within it all. i don't want to feel as if my existence is something i should be apologetic for; this is why religion is unsettling to me. i struggle with certain beliefs that some religions deem wrong. this is why self examination is so important; to know yourself and love yourself is a rare accomplishment for many. the idea of religion doesn't sit right in my mind when someone is trying to force a belief on me that is so deeply personal. take time in your life to self reflect. take time in your life to go into nature, because you will find this is the time you are the most spiritually connected to the rest of the universe, and that you are most connected with god. take time in your life to question your beliefs. find happiness within yourself, instead of outside yourself.
"in the woods, we return to reason and faith."
"nature always wears the colors of the spirit."
"the happiest man is he who learns from nature the lesson of worship."
-Emerson
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